I had a great day. My husband and I did nothing today. He took a nap. I took a nap, I felt a little ill. I played with the cats, cleaned out the papers from the office and showered. I read a couple of magazines and went out to eat with my husband. Hmmm. nice. He's looking into a new job at a local UC. (university califronia) I hope he gets it. We can then buy a house. My mom came home from Arizona. Life is great.

My grandmother turned 79. We were going to have her dinner at the Mission Inn, however my cousin the fireman did not come through on organizing that. My cousin came in from the mid west with his partner and told my cousin the fireman to call everyone... he didn't. His mom had to pick up the slack. Long story short... it was at the "Outback". Starting to my right.... My husband, My "Mall" brother, my little brother (other side of the table) my dad, my mom, my cousin the fireman, his new flavor of the month, my fireman's half brother (my cousin), their sister rose ( the reason for this blog... December) her husband, my mid west cousin's partner, my mid west cousin, his mom (my dad's sister...they don't talk to each other) My grandma, her husband, Mid west little half sister, my small cousin (fire family), fires mom, Mid west little half brother (little = early college) fires other sister and me.

Sigh


It was great. We ate laughed and talked. Some how all the "college" cousins ended up at our end of the tables. We figured there was about $ 200,000+ in student loan dept at our table. I love that family... my aunts are married and remarried women my dad is great... everyone shows them so much respect.... the cousins. My mom was the only one that was properly introduced to the partner. She walked in late. She was going to see my aunt in Arizona...her ride (her older sister) was running late.

Back to the party... my cousins all yelled... "auntie is here!" My fireman cousin said that going to our house was like going to fantasy land. He always wanted to come over. Mind you, he had all the toys, games... everything. He wanted to come play with our second hand toys? He wanted to come over and play with our family. My aunt separated from his dad and my grandma was raising him. We also took care of the Midwest cousin when he was younger... his mom (my aunt) also left his dad and he was also raised by my grandma. Both aunt's remarried (one re divorced) and made more cousins.


We are going to have cake today at noon.

Yesterday my brother was at the mall with person I had cut ties with. She happened to be in my wedding party. I liked her a lot, however, things began to change. She started to move into my family. She began to take my place. I was married and my mother was without a daughter at the moment. I had also started my current job the week before the wedding. I was very busy. She made friends with Lucy too. Ok... That's the back ground.


I had to replay all the reasons I took her out of my life. I was telling my husband it all does not seem real. It's almost as if I want to forget and rewrite history. I barely threw away the e-mails two months ago that sealed the fate of our friendship. I had them printed out on the fridge... they were there to remind me of her problems.


I want to blog these reasons because I want to remember the reasons... to keep her away.



She would tell Lucy stories on a subject or matter in her life, then she would turn around and tell me something completely different. She would even tell us different things about each other. Lucy and I at this time had been together for 15 years. There was no way she would come between us. Lucy and I compared notes and found all the lies and holes in her stories.


She began obsessing with my uncle, yet going out with my brother.


When asked if Lucy's kids were hers, she would say yes. She called Lucy's 7 year old a "ugly frog" and the youngest a pretty Princess.

She never said "hi" or talked to my husband. He saw right through her. She would tell my mother stories and tell us a different version.

She asked if my mom was going to her going away"happy hour" party when she left my mom's work place. When my mom said no, she stated that she(my mom) would for me ( go to the party if it was mine) but not hers. Well duh... I'm her DAUGHTER!

She wanted my family, my friends... my life. She wanted Lucy's kids and fun flare.

One last thing. When I took her home one night she said " your mom used to take you to she this guy in the hospital before he died when you and your brother were very small." "Do you remember who he was?" "Your mom did not elaborate and I was curious." At his point I new she was sick in the head. I have no memory of this. I never told my mom about this. When she asked I knew my husband was right and cut my ties to her. She scared me. There was something evil about this question. It felt evil. I don't use that word often. I don't think I have ever told anyone besides my husband and Lucy about this.

I'm having her banned from my work place. Lucy and I work in the same building.

This week has been hard. Home and work. Our company is starting to drift due to poor leadership. Laup and I are guiding it, but hell, we are not the captains. Sigh. Like ghost people appear. How does life recycle the old with the same versions of what we threw away. I know this does not make sense, but it does to me. You get to the point were you are surprised, angry, speechless and then sick to your stomach. Sigh. Lucy felt it. Some day I will divulge the topic. I just don't think it's the right time now. Good night. Huge presentation in the morning.