I went to visit after work. He does not look like himself. He has help breathing. His heart rate is at a 114 and has a 100.6 temperature. He is still in coma. My parents were there. Waiting. I showed up. All of his family was there. My mom and dad were next in line to visit and my dad said I could go with my mom in his place. His family was nice to us. The granddaughter however... It was our turn to see him. He had just received a sponge bath and she went to check to see if we could go in. She a friend in to visit... they took a while. It was our turn. I did not say anything. It's not my place. Her dad noticed. Kept asking out loud "where is she?" My mom just said... to check if it ok for us to go in". Still I said nothing. She skipped this other lady ahead of us. Her brother then realized what she had done. He went and got her. She tried small talk as she walked us to the back... still I said nothing.

His family is upset. I needed to see that. They did yell at my grandma, my tia and cursed at them... but then again that's how they deal. I saw the pain... in some of their eyes. The two that attacked my family verbally were truly in pain... their faces reflected the emotion in their bodies.

They cried.

It was our turn to go in.

I talked to him. Not aloud. I said nothing aloud. I told him I was sorry for not being so loving when news about the affair came out. It hurt me. I told him that I would miss him. I loved him. That I was here to bring the family together...that's why he was chosen as my godfather. That if he had to go, he should. His quality of life would not be good. I told him that we would all take care of grandma.


I went back into the waiting room, paid my respects to all the elders in his family (his kids) and walked out.

I said goodbye.

February 11th -5:30 am

I woke up and told my husband I had a bad dream.
"Name Here" was in a accident. He was going to die, and no one was upset.
*It was my brothers nick name.


February 11th - 2:30 pm
Picked up the last of the decorations for a party that was going to be held at my parents house. Rose threw a surprise party for her husband ... I decorated.
*We did not invite M and M, I told Alfredo "We might have to leave the party early". Why...I don't know.



February 11th - 4:30 pm
Party is in full swing. The set up looks great. Her husband is shocked. The family from all sides is bonding. Food, cake, appetizers. Perfect.


February 11th - 6:30 pm
My cousin the Fireman, received a call on his cell. We had just finished cutting and serving the cake. "How is he? ..."What level is he?... Is he intubated"?
My Godfather was in a serious car accident. The hospital found the Firefighters cell phone number in his wallet.-We took off to the hospital. My husband, My Tia, and the fireman.


February 11th - 6:40 pm
As we drove into the parking lot of the hospital I realized something. My Godfathers nickname was the same as my brothers. The Dream.


February 11th - 7:00 pm
He was t-boned and hit a light pole. He was not wearing his seat belt, and hit the passenger window. We waited and called his family (he is my step-grandfather). It took three attempts to contact his family. My cousin lives with him. They have lived together since he was a little boy. My grandmother moved out to take care of her mother. When my great grandmother died, my grandmother suspected him of having an affair in her absence from home. They have been separated for years. The "affair" came out last year.
The question was were was he going so late. Late for an 85 year old man.

February 11 - 8:30-10:30pm
He at this point is in coma, had an aneurysm. They have him in surgery to relieve the pressure on his brain. My cousin signed the form.

His family showed up. Two members, no tears. Very cold towards my tia and cousin. We took off (husband and I) to get grandma and pick up my cousins car from my parents house (the party).

Picked up grandma, she was waiting on her porch. I gave her the update.

This is where all the pieces came together.

My Cousin said that he was late to the party because he was cleaning the house.
My tia said that She talked to my godfather and he wanted to bring Grandma home.
Grandma said, as we drove, that she was waiting for him. Cousin came to the party after calling grandma to see if she was staying home. Godfather was on his way to visit her, he never showed up. Then my tia called her to inform her he was in an accident. He was on his way to take her home.

We arrived at the hospital, after my mom called and said don't get the truck, go straight to the hospital. His family was fighting with mine. She needed to sign some paper work. My dad was there when we arrived. They dismissed my cousin and were very cold to him. My godfather is like his dad. Helped raise him since he was small. They told him, you can go now. They were so unruly that security was brought in. My cousin told them all to calm down and tried to be reasonable with them. Gave them a compromise that he stay with one of them. One person per family. They said no. Finally security gave them the ultimatum and it worked.

I sat in the lobby. Looking at his family. I only recognized one face. Wow. These families never melded. They have been married for over 30 years... and who are they? All the kept saying was "C" is here. "C" is here. My grandma. I found it ironic that not a single one of them was upset. I looked for at least one person. none. No tears ... just cell phone calls to their friends and laughter. I mean everyone handles emotional distress differently, but goodness, it was like they were at a party. No one was upset. They did however ask for the will and who would get his house.

My family was upset. My husband said, don't criticize them for their emotions, criticise them for their lack of understanding of the situation, process and procedures.

Mind you this is a brief picture of all that has happened.
It almost does not seem real.
A drunk diver hit him. The police are holding him.

Paper Whites-Backyard

Art Work by a friend of my fathers - Backyard

Daffodil-Backyard

I fell asleep, the dogs were barking.

I woke up, the dogs were barking.

Now I'm up .... the darn dogs stopped barking.


My husband and I went out on our Friday night Date Night. We went out to eat and to do a little window shopping. Problem is that we came home with two bags of merchandise. So what was planned as see and no touch turned into see, touch, and buy. We could not pass up these wonderfully crafted tin hearts. They are going to be added to my sacred heart collection. I'll have to post some pictures.

That's another thing. I love taking photographs. Artsy photos. However lately I have no desire to take any. I'm going to make myself today. I find such joy in looking for beauty...where one might not see it. I need to walk the dogs today too.

Okay, my coffee is done... time to start my day. Coffee, a quick blog entry... this morning is off to a great start.

M just called. He's working on his latest sculpture. It sounds beautiful. I can't wait to see it in it's final stage. We are going to head out to the university to check it out this Monday.

Today was hectic. Two departments lost it today. The management is losing control of their interns and other lower level workers. This is a bad reflection on the company as a whole. Myself and the the other department heads are tired of having to "talk" to the CEO about the problems with these other departments. It feels like school all over again.

My husband is taking me to Mexico/San Diego the weekend after Valentines. I can't wait.

Right now my husband and I are both blogging. We both are putting images that remind us of our days. We reflected on our dinner conversation and picked our images based on what we experienced today. He said this image was perfect... "Don't people remember what proper protocol looks like?"