I took this picture 7 days ago. Beautiful, but out of focus. Like my life. Today I think I went through the final phase of being unhappy due to the loss of my dogs. I was able to say their names multiple times with out crying. I want to put my life back into focus. I have gained some of my lost weight back, fallen behind on house work, artwork and other chores and passions. I need to focus.

It's 5:30... I'm sitting on the couch and my husband is playing chords on his new bass. He decided to take up another instrument. It nice to know that we are able to afford all of these musical outlets, something he never had growing up. I'm more then happy to support this habit. He does not drink or do drugs, he plays... music. I love it. So, he looks up every once in a while and asks, "so what do you want to do tonight?". I just smile and say... um not sure. Then he plays more and I keep web surfing and typing here on my blog. It was a long day. In one sentence... Am I great, because I do everything ...very well or dumb... because I do everything? It was a long day.

He's singing now. Wow... playing and signing. Musical genius. He does have a gift.


My goals this weekend.
1. Finish one of my paintings
2. Scrapbook
3. Clean the house
4. Complete some work I brought home
5. Garden
6. get a puppy ... maybe. "I don't want one" just ran through me head. I miss our dogs.

The last few weeks have been a blur...

I took my photo of a spinning wheel and ...well.... spun it.
Adobe Photoshop Elements 4.o, love it.

I have not blogged in a while. I have been an emotional mess. I weep even as I type this in hopes to take my mind off my sadness. Our babies were stolen on the 20th of Feb. Our beloved Rotties. I have been trying to keep it all "normal" ... at home, at work, in life...


I have nothing to write about, except my pain... and even with these typed words I am slowly pushing that aside to put on a strong face and carry on like nothing is wrong.

My husband has been going above and beyond in this situation. Looking for them, putting up a "inner" fence in our yard. He is happy and I want to be too. We have each other, we planted crops today, did yard work... he's listing to Latin Jazz right now as he cleans up the kitchen. I love him for that. Our motto.... only one of us can me a mess at a time... I don't want to be a mess anymore.

I want them back. It almost seems like so long ago. Like a dream, a memory. It was almost like we did not own them. Then why does it hurt so much.


I have tried to take photographs... ugly
I have tried to paint... unmotivated
I won't even look at my scrap booking table

Yard work... that was nice. Tearful, but nice.