Hello.

So the last time I was here was back in November.

December came and went. It was a hard month. My birthday is in December and it was the first one without my Tia. Christmas came. I applied to USC for my master's.

January, I received my letter of acceptance, completed orientation and financial aid... all in one month. Work was going well... not on the top of my game.

The rain came in February...so did my ignition for work. I think my sadness finally faded. I started my first course, a framing course. Four papers in four weeks.


Now here we are in March and my work life is a joke. I went on two major business trips and the CEO has not even asked for an update. The site is running... maybe my department is doing well and floating on... or maybe we are in trouble and he is holding information back.

Am I happy at work? I am with my job. I am with the clients. I am with my peers. Where is my boss? Who is he? That is problem. I so looked forward to fresh leadership and prosperity, however we have chaos and despair.

Where have I been? Good question. After I finally got a hold of time and realized life must continue. Staying in contact with my mom and her journey to find my grandmother a new house, our house was robbed and my laptop was stolen, then when I feel that it's going to be ok, with every nook and cranny magnetized and ready to go, my grandmother calls. My other grandmother. She feels sick. She has two daughters, my parents and numerous cousins. She called me. sigh. It's scary to get that call. She is the elder of the family and I have no idea about elder care. How much to push, how much is normal. I drove over as fast as I could. Ran out of the car and up the steps of her early 1900's home. She looked ill. As I was driving I called my aunt and told her she had called. she said she would meet me. I took grandma and my tia followed. What a rush. In the end, grandma had low potassium and she suffers from GERD. So some pills, bananas and OJ. The GERD was cause her to dry heave, which was causing her body to become weak, head ache and sleepy. I was more than happy to purchase her pills and take her home. Scary.

Rambling post, I know.

Since the loss of my computer, I have no pictures to post. SO some of my creative juices have become dry and stale. I hope to get back on the ball soon. I miss posting pictures.

Life is interesting.

Why do things happen. We try to make sense of it all, I'm sure there is a bigger picture out there. However what is it? Did it happen because the cause and effect of what may have happened would of been greater? What was it?

It was hot today. It hit a high of 101 degrees today. How do I stay cool? I watch Ice Road Truckers on Hulu. My new summer passion. I am in such a loss for words lately. I just waiting to start.

I have some pictures... tomorrow.

On my home... first stop... to pick up some Cold Stone Ice Cream for my Baby

Driving out of our drive way for a late dinner date.

mmmm.... sushi.

Saturday

we ate a small coffee and pastry breakfast and no dinner in order to get our fill here at lunch. Buuurrrrgersssss!

Sunday

After running errands we stopped in to grab a drink. He, a toffee crunch mocha latte grande soy frappa something with cream and caramel on top. Me, a green tea latte. We sat and read a few magazines. He on music, me on tattoos and studio spaces (art).

We had a BBQ and I bought him this little cake. Big enough for the two of us. Happy Birthday baby.

Walking on a bridge, across a paved river. The sky is in the "blue" hour and yet there is an inkling of yellow sweeping past through the clouds. It's empty. There is no one around. The bridge goes North to South and as I cross it, with trees and grass on the other side, I look back. I look back only to see my self watching me. On the bridge, I turn around enough to still have my back to myself, my hair loose, wisping around in the wind. No smile... no expression. Just a sad eye contact. I turn around on the bridge and start walking away from myself.


This is the image that popped into my head when my mother told me that my tia is not eating anymore. She is home now from the hospital. She will not be going back. The family is down. We'll she them tomorrow.

Today we will celebrate my parent anniversary and my brothers birthday. I'm glad.

"Panic attack is a response of the sympathetic nervous system (SNS). The most common symptoms may include trembling, dyspnea (shortness of breath), heart palpitations, chest pain (or chest tightness), hot flashes, cold flashes, burning sensations (particularly in the facial or neck area), sweating, nausea, dizziness (or slight vertigo), light-headedness, hyperventilation, paresthesias (tingling sensations), sensations of choking or smothering, and derealization. These physical symptoms are interpreted with alarm in people prone to panic attacks. This results in increased anxiety, and forms a positive feedback loop".


owwww.

We went to a wedding on Saturday. The bride and groom started out on a good note. The rain had stopped and the skies parted for the wedding and even held off till our drive home from the reception.

Monday - I had to take this picture... the way home from work.

Wednesday... C-O-L-D

Wednesday - Holiday Weather in So Cal.

Here I am....

I'm 32 years old. I went to work yesterday and got a phone call. You have to give blood today for your tia. We are the same blood type and have "family ties". So I am a prime candidate for her. So after three presentations I ran from work to her office to pick up the paperwork then off to the blood band. It was already getting dark and I walked through the doors. Filled out the paper work and sat in a chair in a large room with no other donors. There were people in another section giving platelets. I drove home picked up my husband and then went off to my birthday dinner where some Friends came over for cake and Cold Stone. Went to work today and left straight to the dentist for my "gum reconstruction" . So here I am... I can't talk. Gauze in my mouth, drool seeping from the corners and the pain killer wearing off. The 800mg has not kicked in yet. I had to drive from the dentist to the pharmacy drive through. I had to mime and write everything on paper. The guy at the window was awesome. Came home and my wonderful husband took the list of what I can and can not eat to the store to buy me food. As I check my blog I notice my mother posted. Thank you mom. I love you and dad.

so here I am... sitting and sitting... in silence. Gauze in my mouth... with a burning sensation creeping across my two front teeth. Funny ... I practically get paid to talk.

Friday- My husband started my Birthday a little early... It's not till the tenth, however I have minor surgery coming up on the eleventh and a wedding on the thirteenth. So, we decided to have this weekend be my "birthday weekend". We went out for sushi and today we are going to put up our Christmas tree.



I went to Rancho Mirage for a conference on Wednesday and Thursday. It was nice to get away from the routine of the office, however there is minimal sleep, rather tossing and turning without my husband.

It is a beautiful place.

Monday- As I left work, I looked up and saw a large bird. White with very light brown streaks on the under wing. I kept looking because it's face was round... hawks don't have round heads... kept looking... it was not a hawk.

My Godmother (Tia) is going in going in for surgery again. This time she is going in for a hysterectomy. Update... she is going in for more then that. The tumor is also attached to the colon. She goes in on the 18th.

It was so warm this morning, I grabbed my latest issue of Rolling Stone, my husband and his book, Maurice Bishop Speaks and headed outside. We sat on the porch, reading and sunning. I had to run in and grab the sun block because I could feel the capillaries in my legs busting. Sun tan, Yay.... sun damage... boo. As I looked up from the pages I could see San Grogonio topped with snow from last Tuesday/Wednesday. Slightly blocking my view of the mountain was out orange tree... with it's batch ready to pick in about 3 weeks. I love where we live... oranges, snow topped mountains and sunshine.... my legs have more coffee then cream again... thank goodness.


San Gorgonio Mountain, also known locally as Mount San Gorgonio, or Old Greyback, is the highest peak in Southern California at 11,499 feet (3,505 m). It is located in the San Bernardino Mountains, 27 metres (89 ft) east of the city of San Bernardino and 12 feet (4 m) north-northeast of San Gorgonio Pass. It lies within the San Gorgonio Wilderness, part of the San Bernardino National Forest. Spanish missionaries in the area during the early 17th century named the peak after Saint Gorgonius.
Since it is the highest point in a region which is separated from higher peaks (e.g. in the Sierra Nevada) by relatively low terrain, San Gorgonio Mountain is one of the most topographically prominent peaks in the United States. It is ranked 7th among peaks in the 48 contiguous states and 18th among over all.